35.

As this year comes to a close,
A monumental one is about to begin.
Me, no longer wet behind the ears, but
Not quite sage enough to belt out prophetic mistakes
From a creased, experienced brow...
Me, not really as small as I'd like to be, but
More accepting of self than ever before.
Me, juggling a million-and-one hats, but
No longer getting lost in the shuffle.
ME.

I. Have. Arrived.

Misfire

Why do we wage war in order to be heard?

Battle, to raise questions;

Combat emotions to puff up our chests and cry out in victory--

When the point gets missed anyhow,

And we both are left defeated. 

Platonic

They fight like lovers...

They kiss (or not); always make up. I've witnessed quiet gestures here and there. I'm trying to be an adult about the situation. My emotions however, are starting to give me away. There's a constant, childlike tantrum happening on the inside.

I don't think he cares--not with his heart anyway. His mouth seems to say to me all the things he shows to her. 

I feel intrusive in my own space;

and alone in love.

8:43p (in my feelings)

Matted 

Curly

Straight 

Coiled

Knotted 

Spit on

Peed on

Walked over

Mocked

Hash-tagged

Exploited

Fighting

Sat on

Shot down

Killed

Dead

Black 

Matters 

???

11.15.14

Behind the smile,

Beyond apparent joy,

Lies the lonely of togetherness.

Relative

I trickle

Slowly drained

Like a blood-sucking leech

A lack of the right words consume my flesh

Hostile spirits course like venom through my veins

And replace the care I once possessed

I reached out

Accusations were returned

Prophetic words of dissatisfaction cast out into the universe

The truth? Too much to ask for

Too precious to share

Content to anticipate more of the same

Mistreatment 

Miscommunication 

Misinterpretation

To be misunderstood seems better than to be fixed

Like miserable boos over healing waters

I trickle 

Slowly drained 

Watching the circles in this conversation 

Suck the life out of me

12:01a

feels like the beginning of the end...

of fun

of friendship

of freedom

slept through the transition 

somehow missed the mark

then slipped through the cracks

of time, into a space where mediocrity and habit reign supreme

there was no laughter

there was no kiss

just me

alone

with my thoughts 

with my hurt

with the foreboding of future regret

waiting to greet me 

around the temporal bend--

I was a minute too late...