All alone, I stare outside. It's raining again, pounding on the window pane of my heart. Flashbacks of something so perfect, so seemingly right taunt me as I blink back the regret threatening to surface. My lust-infested-love has finally gotten the better of me, tricking me into habitual denial and allowing me to call it "self-control". It's raining again, pounding on the window pane of my heart...
In the dark, I recall my transgression with a tormented smile and an ill chuckle that chills the dry, cold air as I inhale deeply. I can still feel his warmth, his touch, his kiss---I can still
hear his I Love Yous echoing in my ears, running down my neck and sending sensations up my spine...his scent is still all over me; I wear a bottle of it to cover up the hurt in my soul. It's raining again, pounding on the window pane of my heart...
My being is full, impregnated with false hope and unspeakable joy all at the same time, for in order to find myself again, I must nurture another. In order for me to nuture another, I must first deny myself and my feelings for you; feelings based on ficticious hopes and dreams...dreams I instilled within you.
As I kiss my eyes, trace your lips and hug our better half, I become overwhelmed by nameless emotions, overcome by my doubts, my fears. The only laughter I hear is that of my crying mind and all of a sudden, my deep sadness and welcomed depression provide me a ray of hope---
It's raining again, pounding on the window pane of my heart...
~What fun~
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