Weak

Sometimes, I wish I were under-worked and over-paid...so that belly would be full and spirit, contented...but I fear that would not solve the problem...because I didn't trust God today...and when I forget to remember Him...something happens in those waking hours to remind me--I misplaced my trust...set my commitment down to chase after His will...if only for a moment, I could indulge my senses in the decadence of it all...somehow, I don't believe such a thought would be as exciting, if I would daily turn to the One sweeter than the honey in the honeycomb...He, who gives back to us, everything the locusts stole...but I didn't trust God today...and when I forget to remember Him, I settle for little inadequacies that add up to a large abyss of confusion...of questions...and loneliness...and my passion, like a half-empty glass...nestles deep into the dusty mantle of my finitude...I owe life an apology...for demanding more of her than she could ever give...